No time to blog, no time to eat, no time to play, no time to do anything except study.
Final paper tomorrow... disastrous Psych - AGAIN.
Bad memories less than 3 months ago... and yet, how desperately I need to rely on this final to pull everything up.
Unforunately, full marks seems a highly unattainable (and improbable) goal.
But how I *need* it. :(

The true meaning of freedom reveals itself at 11am tomorrow (actually, today). Hectic rush after the paper: Cutting of hair, picking up tickets, lunch with MM, Body Shop, Dental appointment at 2pm, rushing home to change and iron goddam shirt, Valedictory at 6pm, dinner with Rich and E, then rushing home (again!) to change, and a loooong night of partying away...

Just that it'd be a lot better if everyone weren't going home so soon. :( I guess I'll never understand the rush and urgency to make it home in time for the New Year. Angpows? Pshaw. The ones that matter will still be there when I get home... and the ones that won't, don't. (Think again about the 25%, bro. :p)

Flying back on the 4th. Can't say I'm terribly looking forward to it, but I guess it'll be fun... until the 7th comes rolling along. This one day makes, or breaks me. Don't even dare to allow myself the possibility of a "what if". Is this where I suddenly turn all religious again and pray my heart out?

God help me.

... please?

***

Maybe there's hope [yet].

"The Truth" - Mulder
The X Files, Season 9
Concluding episode and final line, ever.

Aside from the kiss, it sucked. Big time.

	Tenderheart Bear You are thinker, organizer, peacekeeper, and leader all in one. You have a power to command attention and people listen to you. However, you are often so concerned about not hurting others' feelings that you don't tell them what they need to hear and this gets you both into trouble. But you always have loyal friends to help you out.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

(*Tenderheart* Bear?! Meh.)

***

42 'C. Steamy, sweltering, summer SUNday morning, just past the stroke of midnight. Its absolutely *burning*, and at the same time Elle's freezing her butt off over in CA. Its what, -10 'C over there now? Talk about extremes. Global warming, forest fires and now haywire climate... Yes I think to myself, what a wonderful world (Armstrong, L. 1967).

Leafing through E&D notes now, and I'm not even done with HOI yet. Sigh. I can so forsee what tomorrow, Tuesday and Thursday night will be like. All this preparation to return early from "flogging land" (that's enough, Elle! :p) in time for Orientation, and it occurs just to me that I'm taking for granted there'll be an actual need to return. At the rate things are going... *shrug* Who knows, really. Scary, how my entire future lies in 7 days of pure laborious study.

On a related note, is an extra 3% worth all that slave labor?

I'm compelled to disagree.

***

She raised her head, her eyes staring blankly about her.
Again she whispered, "That's not the point,"
the words now a plea to a man who was no longer there.

Told myself I won't complain
But some things have got to change
Not gonna be a victim of
All your social push and shove

Right or wrong, you judge the same
My picture never fit your frame
What you thought, you'll never know
You can't see me with your mind closed

*Should I wear my hair in a ponytail?
Should I dress myself up in Chanel?
Do I measure me by what you think?
Absolutely not, absolutely not

If I go to work in a mini-skirt
Am I giving you the right to flirt?
I won't compromise my point of view
Absolutely not, absolutely not!*

"Absolutely Not" - Deborah Cox
QAF Soundtrack

Sighhhh. 6.30am on a Friday morning... the day my disastrous media essay is due. No prizes for guessing if its finished or not, eh. The feeling of being *seriously* screwed is killing me. I mean, this is like... an EXTENDED extension and I can't even make the dead-DEADline. Wow hoo. And to make matters worse, tomorrow is a Saturday (and then comes Sunday)... and its virtually impossible to mail it or anything coz of all the appendices and stuff... then what, MONDAY?! Screwed. (Its a mark a day, peeps... *now* you get why, eh.)

And to make matters worse, there's E&D in 4.5 hours. And I *can't* not go, which means I have to be up in 3. Might as well not sleep... it'll just make me even more tired. Just had pot roast and (burnt) baked potatoes (at 5am in the morning!), courtesy of Rich. Shrek's playing on the dvd thingy... s'like a party here. Just that I'm not in the mood. We're *ALL* in the same boat... me, PCB and MM. Blah. Just *how* in the world are we gonna pull it off...

***

"There is no finish line."

- Phil Knight, Nike CEO

[There never is, is there?]

Fast approaching 4am. Media due later today, and I really haven't done much about it... been working on getting E&D outta the way once and for all. Sigh. Work's really piling up. More or less done with E&D now, though as a result my blasted Media thingy's gonna be a couple days late. Blah. Just hope he doesn't penalise. >.< Can't wait for the hols to be here. Dying to go watch 8 Mile and *gasp*, Lord of the Rings! Becoming a hermit. How tragic is that?

Disastrous net connection pissing me off *BIG* time. Think its probably the modem, though Rich says otherwise. In any case, hafta wait til I get back to fix it... and of all days, I've never needed the net more in my entire life! Double blah.

Been thinking about dropping Psych. Full marks for the paper is like, uhhh... O_o
And all that just to reach 85 on the dot. Meh. Worth it?

On another note altogether, the State library rocks.

***

She was on fire last night
And I was breathing gasoline

"Whatever (I Had A Dream)" - Butthole Surfers
R+J Soundtrack

3 plus on a Sunday morning and I'm falling asleep. Drama performance exam thingy later at 10am (practice at PCB's at 9)! Bleh. Just hope everything goes well... no line flubs or anything... argh. Stressed. EAP and E&D due on Mon, and Media on Wed (*groan*)... wonder *how* in the world I'm gonna get them ALL done and yet still have time for adequate study in preparations for the exams.

Snapshot published in mag. Cool stuff. :> Just that... we look totally gross is all. *cringe* Can't have it all, I guess.

PCB's birthday dinner thingy at Georges. Yummy potato skins, but sucky everything else. Generally not worth the (ridiculous) wait. Clubbing with the usual bunch again yesterday, didn't get home til 5 in the wee morning. Blondie makes me sad. Eye candy does that to people.

***

Deep within I'm shaken by
The violence of existing
For only you.

"Do What You Have To Do" - Sarah Mclachlan

Sleepy. Almost 5am and I'm slacking over the blasted E&D fieldtrip thingy... prolly not gonna turn it in tomorrow. Monday! That's what they all say, anyway. Been a really hectic week. Died doing OP prep and all, plus trying to dig up sources for Media and watching vids... 3 more to go and I'm finally done. Then all I'll hafta do is write the goddam thing...

OP today. Wasn't too bad, I guess. Finally over, at any rate. Presentations kill me.

***

Pikins!
Wow hoo.
Gay duck.
Bowing cock.

Died laughing at the Hongkie store in town. :p
(And only a day after Ben-TOH (TOH-fu?) at the Jap one.)

PCB's 20 today. Getting old, girl.
You're gonna hafta steal MM's crutches before you know it.

***

How can you be so far away
Lying by my side?

"Promise Me" - Beverly Craven

The night's too long
And cold here without you;
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so.

"I Love You" - Sarah Mclachlan