3.30am on a Sunday morning. Feeling totally invisible all of a sudden, and taken for granted... just so *sick* and tired of all this bullshit in my life.

Been a really hectic, traumatizing emotional roller-coaster kinda week. Brother got assaulted by a buncha gangster fuckers out of the blue, broke his nose and needed 4 stitches... and no one thought it important enough to even let me know. I guess I can understand the folks not wanting to worry me and all, but isn't this kind of thing considered a goddam *emergency*?! To think if I'd never visited his blog I'd have been kept in the dark til... when?! The fact that I had to find out through a lousy static machine kills me. Anyhow, irritation aside... the assholes have been caught. PRESS CHARGES ALL THE WAY! And if not, settle outside of court. I ain't gonna let it rest just like that. Esso car wash. Yeah, that's some bright future ahead.

***

Being so far away from home sucks. Sure, the freedom and all is crazy liberating, but at times like these...

Feeling so distant, insignificant and all alone all of a sudden... like the whole world is just passing on by, and everyone's living their lives without my knowledge or having been involved or even played a part. Within the blink of an eye everyone's seemed to have gotten attached or found a significant other, or gone through typical schoolgirl/boy crushes and stuff... found the latest restaurant to chill at, watched the coolest plays, gotten injured... found a job, learnt how to drive, or even lost a loved one... and here I am, left out of it all and clueless while the rest of the world whizzes by. Like it doesn't matter in the least that I'm left behind.

Like I'm just not... there.

Wallowing chin-deep in self-pity can be so therapeutic sometimes...

***

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired, so much more aware
I've becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
and be less like you.

"Numb" - Linkin Park